My name is Tomika Darden. I am a mom of 3. On November 29, 2011 I had just returned home from spending Thanksgiving with my parents. I knew before I left that something was not right with my mom, but nothing could have prepared me for what that Tuesday would set in motion. A phone call from my dad saying mom was in the hospital and that it was not good. I lived 3 and a half hours away and was a total wreck. I threw stuff in a bag and took off for Georgia. I cried the whole trip, cussed cars that got in front of me, and just kept thinking, “Please let it be okay.”
I got to the hospital and my dad’s brother was outside. He said it was bad…I wanted to get in to see her asap. She was on life support, blood flowing into her catheter from kidney failure, and hell truly began.
Bad News Ahead
Nearly a month later, we found out she had stage 4 cervical cancer. Her wish was to be home for Christmas…the doctors were nice enough to make it happen. She swore she would fight the cancer, and she truly did try her best. In her heart, though, I believe she knew she wouldn’t because she asked me to care for her home and for my dad many times before she passed away on July 1, 2012 at 9:20pm. I was standing by her side along with her two brothers. I was the one who laid my head down on her chest and said she was gone a second before I began screaming that it was too soon, begging her to stay a little longer. I immediately called hospice and then I called my dad’s brother. I wish now I had never called him. He has become the person who destroyed my father. He is doing it by destroying the home my mom wanted to go home to. He took the land from my father and sold it to someone else who has already let it rot since evicting me and my son from our home, the home my parents built from the ground up. I will talk more about that in the coming days…
An End to Family
Once my mom passed, I moved into her home and began trying to fix it up. Then, unfortunately, my son and I were displaced by my dad’s family after they lied to him stating they would not touch his home. They said they were only going to help him with the land taxes to ensure it did not get sold outside of the family. It was a lie. They swore they would not touch the home he and my mom built, they swore they would not sell it outside of the family. They have done all of the above. The purpose of this website is to get people to understand, all types of abuse is truly horrible, but for my father; nothing beats Elderly Abuse. I Hope to gain support for what my dad and I are going through and I hope to spread the word that no matter what you think of that “OLD” person in your family, they do not deserve the amount of pain that you cause them by taking something from them. Don’t lie to them. They trust in you to protect them; not destroy what hope they have in their family. They were raised in a time when family came first. They put their trust in those closest to them. Do you really want them to know that their family is evil? Is that the last memory you want that person to have of you? Their life? Their faith? It takes a heartless soul to do to somewhat what has been done to my father. I never want someone else to have to deal with the things he has dealt with.
My dads drinking was a constant battle, but I did the best that I could for him. His family said that I wasn’t doing enough, but they have done him much worse. This website is the fruition of their efforts to prove my dad and I are inferior. I will now be unable to ensure his life’s wishes were met because his brother decided he didn’t need his wishes. Therefore, this website is to ensure that no one forgets his name…and if I can change the way people see elderly abuse in the process….even better.