The term elderly abuse should be put on a list that none of us is allowed to have to even think. It is a dirty word in my opinion. The problem is; to ignore it or pretend that it is not a problem, allows it to happen more often. To make it stop; we have to raise elderly abuse awareness. We have to show that our elder generations do not deserve what is happening to them. Each day, someone else becomes a victim and each day, someone gets away with it. Are you ready to take a stand and fight for your elders or yourself when the time comes? It starts now. Let us see what we can do for people, who like my father, have suffered; before they have to feel the pain that comes with elder abuse.
Raising Elder Abuse Awareness
There are several elder abuse risk factors that you need to be aware of. In the situation that my dad was subjected to; he was the perfect storm. Dementia and Depression. Had I been more aware of it, my dad may have stood a better chance to have his dying wishes come true. You see, his family told me before it happened what was going to happen. They wanted the land my father built. Pure and simple greed. I expected them to have a heart that would ensure they understood the devotion that my father and I had to the property. When he was diagnosed with dementia, he immediately became more susceptible to elder abuse and I never saw it coming. I was blind. Dementia is a primary risk factor. A person who has dementia is more trusting of their family because they depend on them more. My dad’s situation was a culmination of a lot of things. The family felt that I was neglectful and they didn’t like the people I had coming around my home. My dad would get upset with me over tiny things and they would dive in to try and convince him of bad stuff that I was going to do. For instance, talking about Allen being around the house and wanting to take possession of it so that he could turn it into a junkyard. At one time, my dad was convinced that I may be stealing from him. Within days of taking me off his checking account; my dad added me back to it because he knew that he had been wrong. A person with dementia can be convinced of anything, especially if the person talking to them is able to talk quickly. His brother has a smile that could charm serpents, and he uses it well. I’ve seen him try to twist my dad up on many occasions, the latest being the one that got eviction papers going. It is befitting that some call him a snake.
What Causes Elderly Abuse?
You may think that elderly abuse is black and white, but it isn’t clear-cut. Elder abuse happens because of a variety of reasons. Envy over what the elder has, physical abuse as a child under the now elderly person, and much more. Some people become abusive simply because they had too much to drink and got upset with the elder in their care. There could be a variety of reasons for the elder abuse to begin; in the case of my dad, it was family land that they didn’t feel myself, my son, or my father deserved. They all try to say I am a horrible caregiver for my father, but they have proven to be worse than me. I take him to doctors, I call him to check on him, I take him to buy groceries, and more. They simply give him an eviction notice. Since there aren’t any clear-cut elderly abuse causes; you have to think about the elderly people in your life and watch for changes in their behavior.
How to Spot Elder Abuse
Knowledge is power. If you suspect elder abuse, start checking things out. My dad was having mind games played on him long before D-day when his brother took him to a lawyer. I was blind…I ignored it. My dad would invite Allen over to the house or talk about me owning the property. He was saying he would sign it over to me “NOW” rather than have me wait for his death. Then, he would get so mad at me and say that I didn’t deserve the property and that Allen was trying to move in and he felt for sure that I was going to let it happen. It would change rapidly and it would be daily. He would tell me to invite Allen over and then get mad because Allen showed up. I’d tell Allen to stay away because I was catching hell for it, and dad would call him to say come over. I was the monkey in the middle and unable to do anything right. I found out later by my dad and this by his brother that during that time, his brother was saying Allen was going to move in and take over, trash up the yard, and more. I might have been able to stop it if only I had been more prepared to see it. I never dreamed family could be that cruel to one of their own. They say I didn’t deserve it. My dad lived in a dirty home. I admit it. I would clean it and he would immediately trash it. At least I gave him food when he wanted it and made sure he went to doctors when he was supposed to. They only helped him until they stole his land. I’ve been there even after he had nothing to give. Who do you think is the better person?
Other examples of elderly abuse may involve the elder having bruises or sores from abuse. They may become withdrawn. They may go from having money in their pocket to being broke or having to borrow money from others. They may have things that they value, personal property, that they give up to someone else even though you know that they wouldn’t be giving it up under normal circumstances. Abuse comes in so many different ways and there are no clear elderly abuse examples for you to follow or consider. You simply have to keep in mind that you know your loved one and if something does not seem right; chances are good that it isn’t right.